Davon's Character Claims.

[Davon]

Character claim for Junpei.


No one could find the right words to say to Junpei for a few weeks and it was hard for Junpei to get over what happen to Chidori.

Yukari spotted him just wandering the campus like a sad zombie.
"Are you okay Junpei? You haven't been yourself lately." said Yukari .

Junpei being a little startled replied,"Oh!, Hey Yukari I'm just fine. I'm more cheerful than a kid on Christmas day."

Yukari knew that was a lie and would soon have to find away to bring Junpei back to his old self again.Yukari looked at him one more time with sincerity, "You mind if I walk with you? Don't worry I'm not going to pick on you."

Junpei nodded and they went off. It grew closer to dawn as Junpei and Yukari strolled through the campus chatting, but when she tried to cheer him up he only joked around and didn't jump into conversation. As the two headed for the dorms all of the sudden a shadow appeared. "Why now of all times damnit?!" Junpei yelled. Junpei's anger flared up inside him as he drew his sword and held it like a baseball bat.

Yukari, a little shaken from the shadow, drew her weapon as well. The shadow looked like a giant octopus with more arms than it should have. Junpei pictured Takaya's face behind the mask of the shadow and lunged forward violently slicing at the shadow with pure anger and discontent. "Heyaaa, Die!" Junpei shouted as he swung his sword randomly at the shadow.

Yukari too disgusted at how he is acting at the moment couldn't bare to watch anymore and just closed her eyes. Even though the shadow was defeated he kept on hacking at the ground where the mask of the shadow lay. "Please stop Junpei!" Yukari cried out.

Before Junpei could stab his sword at the mask again Akihiko ran up behind him and grabbed his arm,"It's over idiot give it break already." Junpei looked into his eyes with confusion and despair. "Stop acting like you're the only one in pain here everyone else saw what happened okay. You're not the only one who lost someone important to them."Akihiko scowled at him.

Junpei smiled and fell to the ground in tears.

Akihiko continued, "I lost my sister the only family I had left! I'm pretty sure every one else had some hard times on their shoulders as well."

Junpei looked up at him, "I'm sorry guys I got a little out of hand."

Akihiko and Yukari helped Junpei up to his feet and walked up to the doors of the dorm. "Junpei will you be okay by yourself?" Yukari whispered as they opened the doors.

"I'll be fine nothing a hot shower and some food can't cure."

"Whatever..."said Akihiko, but before he left he eyed Junpei one more time as though regretting to leave him be, "and on your way to your room don't do anything stupid."

"Isn't that what I always do." Junpei chuckled.

Yukari laughed and three of them went their separate ways.

The night was more silent than an audience at an opera. The dorm room filled with moonlight and shadows added on to the effect of Junpei's misery. His mind fixated at the thought of killing Takaya over and over... He dropped down on his bed and went into deep thought. "Thank you...Jun..pei...I love you" Chidori's voice filling his head with images of her disappearing only brought more anguish.What Akihiko said to him made him realize what he had to do. He would fulfill Chidori's wish to live out his life for the both of them. He put his rage and vengeance behind him and finally went to sleep with dreams of being with Chidori once more.

[Dreamer of Words]

Plausible, man. Add more stuffs BY MODIFY and I'll check back.

EDIT: Why aren't you listening to my advice of "only use return for new paragraphs?" What is 'it'? Details are your friend. PLEASE, for all things USE more than just the script format! What are the Non-Tryouts Yukari and Akihiko doing? It could be, as an example, this! ((Akihiko glanced back for a moment at the two, but his words were aimed at Junpei. "Well, on your way back to the dorm, don't do anything stupid.")) I expect you to take the example on storybook and make your own additions.

Kiki's Edit: Another piece of advice, read, read, read, and reread things before you post them. That goes for Dreamer, too. Ask other people to read them. When you do dialogue, be sure to put it in quotations, not a script format. Also, I'm not sure Junpei would just shrug off the others, he'd joke or kid when he's truly sad. When I suggested dialogue would help, I meant dialogue illustrated by actions. Maybe you could describe them fighting the shadow, or something. Not just a few lines of random dialogue in script format.

Edit2: Exactly! Dialougue =/= Thoughts in the Italics code button! I was expecting this epically done out inner STRUGGLE or something. Oh well... Baby steps.

Edit3: Remember that every person has their own Paragraph if it's a different than the one before them... I fixed that error, as well as the spacing differential; so...in my next post.

[Davon]

Nov 27, 2009 15:05:08 GMT -5 Dreamer of Words said:

Plausible, man. Add more stuffs BY MODIFY and I'll check back.

EDIT: Why aren't you listening to my advice of "only use return for new paragraphs?" What is 'it'? Details are your friend. PLEASE, for all things USE more than just the script format! What are the Non-Tryouts Yukari and Akihiko doing? It could be, as an example, this! ((Akihiko glanced back for a moment at the two, but his words were aimed at Junpei. "Well, on your way back to the dorm, don't do anything stupid.")) I expect you to take the example on storybook and make your own additions.

Kiki's Edit: Another piece of advice, read, read, read, and reread things before you post them. That goes for Dreamer, too. Ask other people to read them. When you do dialogue, be sure to put it in quotations, not a script format. Also, I'm not sure Junpei would just shrug off the others, he'd joke or kid when he's truly sad. When I suggested dialogue would help, I meant dialogue illustrated by actions. Maybe you could describe them fighting the shadow, or something. Not just a few lines of random dialogue in script format.

Edit2: Exactly! Dialougue =/= Thoguhts in the Italics code button! I was expecting this epically done out inner STRUGGLE or something. Oh well... Baby steps.

Ok I got it I think let me know how it is so far and I will keep at it until then.

[Dreamer of Words]

Jupei Iori, You are approved. Take what you have learned and use it well...

[Davon]

Thank you very much and I shall try next is Riku of KH if that is okay?

Dreamer's edit: I suppose that you should talk to Kiki over this, PM buttons have a reason~! I can always IM him, too. Methinks that you need to make your own choices as well as remembering what you have learned. We are not ZOMBIES that go 'Urh, braaaaaiiiiinsssss' in a mindless manner. Think of whom would fit you the best, then make your own choice. Thanks. And yes... I'm kind of unhappy that you don't pop on and IM with this.